


Just This Once

by xanam



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Angst, M/M, Regret, Self-Reflection, Vector is just very conflicted about what he wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 13:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16855069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanam/pseuds/xanam
Summary: He wasn’t Shingetsu Rei, and as far as he was concerned, he never had been. But if it would make this entire ordeal more tolerable, maybe he could allow himself to be… For now.





	Just This Once

No matter how much he tried to deny it, one thing would always remain a fact; Shingetsu Rei would forever be a part of Vector.

The very existence of the clumsy teen was a lie, a façade created by Vector himself. But an even greater lie would be that he didn’t, even in the furthest reaches of his mind, _enjoy_ being Yuma’s friend. Shingetsu Rei _adored_ his precious Yuma-Kun, loved to help him out in any way possible, even if it constantly backfired. He only meant well.

But not Vector. Vector loathed the boy, his constant shouts of ‘Kattobingu!’ irking him to no end. This whole act was a pain; he still hadn’t recovered from the embarrassment of his Dandylion cosplay. (Although of course, that was his own fault for choosing it. Or maybe Shingetsu’s. Was it possible to blame his own cover personality?) He couldn’t wait until he could just reveal the truth about who he was. That would shut the damn brat up. Vector would completely and utterly break him.

Still, until that time, Shingetsu was necessary. If it meant that it would make hanging around with the thickheaded boy and his group of almost as obnoxious friends any easier, he would be Shingetsu… If only for a while.

It was Shingetsu, not Vector, who would sit and eat lunch with the numbers club. It was Shingetsu who would smile shyly at Yuma and suggest that they take a less dangerous shortcut to class in the mornings as time passed. It was Shingetsu who hid his face out of embarrassment as he told Yuma that he loved him, cheeks dusted with pink.

And Shingetsu would never lie to his Yuma-Kun.

Maybe it was Vector who wound the web of lies regarding being a ‘Barian’s Guardian’. Maybe it was Shingetsu who promised the one he really cared for that he’d always protect him if he needed it.

All of this was becoming far too confusing for the barian. It was time to drop the act. Shingetsu’s usefulness had expired, and finally, Vector could return to being himself. Being Shingetsu Rei was terrifying. He feared that if he kept up the act any longer, there’d be no going back. The warmhearted, clumsy attitude seemed second nature to him and it made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to become Shingetsu Rei. The entire act disgusted him.

Breaking Tsukumo Yuma was just as satisfying as he’d hoped, maybe even more. Seeing the tears stream down the boy’s face as he spat out the words that changed everything; _Shingetsu was dead_. And he _was_. No more did Vector have to worry about keeping up the act as Yuma’s caring yet clumsy boyfriend. No longer did he have to tolerate the childish, immature group of friends as they worried over nonsense such as relationships and cosplay and friendship. He was finally free. It was just a shame that he wasn’t able to beat Yuma and Astral in that duel. Oh, well. He’d have more opportunities.

Shingetsu Rei was all but forgotten. Merely a mask to occasionally slip into to hurt his enemy further, just for the kicks.

His duel with Nasch provided the first perfect chance to leap into the façade once more, after recovering his true memories. Of course, he knew that Don Thousand had modified his memories. He’d known for a long time. Although it was rather surprising to find out that maybe, just maybe, the reason ‘Shingetsu’ came so naturally to him was because that was who he was supposed to be.

That didn’t matter. He was Vector now. Insane, murderous, evil.

_And he fucking loved it._

He only had to slip back into the façade for a short time in this case. He didn’t even have to fully immerse himself in the personality he’d eliminated, it was enough to fool them all, and he knew it. Or at least, he thought he did. Crap. Nasch wasn’t supposed to see through that. He _definitely_ wasn’t supposed to win. And Don Thousand was _under no circumstances_ meant to have survived.

He fucked up. And this time, there was no getting out of this mess.

_**“Vector!”** _

What the hell was Yuma doing?! That boy really was an idiot. Why even bother trying to save him? No matter. Maybe he could drag the little shit down with him. He wouldn’t mind dying if he could at least exhale his dying breath knowing that there’d be no more Tsukumo Yuma. No more annoying screams of ‘Kattobingu!’ plaguing the world. Then again, there’d probably be no world left to piss off anyway. Don Thousand was too powerful. Oh, well. Not his concern. He’d be dead before that could happen, and dragging his nemesis down with him would be good enough for him.

_“Die by my side, Yuma!”_

_“…Okay. Let’s do it, Shingetsu.”_

Shit. He wasn’t supposed to be okay with it.

_“I’ll protect you.”_

The words of Shingetsu Rei were thrown right back in his face. _Wonderful_. Unconsciously, his mind drifted to his time as Shingetsu. All the smiles, the laughs, the shy kisses.

Perhaps Shingetsu Rei wasn’t as dead as he thought. Merely dormant. And maybe… Just this once… Vector could accept that tiny portion of himself that wanted what was best.

Vector, Shingetsu Rei, whoever the hell he was supposed to be anymore, smiled as he released his grip on the boy’s hand, finally at peace.

_“Goodbye, Yuma-Kun.”_

**_“SHINGETSU!”_ **

It was bitterly ironic. With this, Shingetsu Rei had managed to protect Yuma with this final act. But his death would pain Yuma more than his betrayal ever could. And that was enough to satisfy Vector.


End file.
